But the fantasy remains, you better come back to earth again...

Ok...so you don't actually want to know the ways that I waste my time today (although, if you would like to engage with me about the differences in definition, theory, method, etc. between Durkheim, Weber, Eliade, and Geertz...let me know), but that doesn't mean I can't find a way for at least one of my daily activities to be a total time waster. Thus, I introduce a new segment entitled....

Is it worth the waiting for? If we live 'til eighty-four?

Welcome back to another installment of "what the hell is with this poster on the back of a bathroom stall?" This one was found on the first floor of the library. New stall, new poster, same scathing critique...

Kissed a few with sticky shoes, our cartoon show is broke...

Oh, you don't even want to know how I wasted time today... (unless, of course, you do...in which case you can proceed to what follows after the jump...)

When you want to go to it...when you want to come...

I read this article yesterday about how graduate students need to give themselves a break every once in a while and I've really taken the message to heart. I believe, however, that the article lacks specificity. So, to help clarify, let me offer more concrete examples of how to relax based on my own experiences over the past few days while in Florida with my mother, visiting my brother, sister-in-law, and two nieces, aged 3 years and 3 months.

Take my hand, I'll show you a lifetime of days, years...

An open letter to JSTOR...

Even when you're feeling warm, the temperature could drop away...

The "how I wasted my time today" blog theme is back, although in a slightly different format. As I settle in to begin studying for exams, I'm finding myself returning to utterly worthless musings (although of an entirely different sort) and here you will be able to find ridiculous ways to waste your time thinking about things that don't matter and no one cares about. It's good to be back...

Don't let it pass on through ya, it's a long and giant cliche

And then I turned thirty....

All your diction dripping with disdain...

I wrote this insanely worthless and pedantic entry about a flyer I saw on campus for the sole purpose of procrastinating from my current responsibilities to finish a grant application. Trust me...you do NOT want to waste your time here.

Jinglin' a wish coin that I stole from a fountain that was drownin' all the cares in the world

This is a chapter length excerpt about dating from my forthcoming memoir entitled "These Uneven Bars are Too Uneven, I Blame the Patriarchy" You can not possibly be bored enough to read the whole thing.

I know it's cool to be so bored, Sucks me in when you're aloof...

This post is NSFTU (not safe for Twitter users). Or anyone who is sick of my sarcastic rants and rampant use of expletives. Or, really, probably for anyone...

You shoulda put a ring on it (it's your own damn fault)

This was to be my blog's greatest triumph, demonstrating the radical lengths to which one will go to waste time while stuck in suspended animation in a foreign country, but alas, Greg and I found other embarrassing ways to waste our time and never achieved the perfection for which we strived. I offer our humble first attempt here.

Everything you do is quite angelicate...

We've all heard a lot about Tina Fey lately because of her new book and I've been reading a lot of the reviews, listening to interviews and generally wasting time researching her. I have surmised that while she and I  appear to share some characteristics, she has found a way to be successful and well-liked in spite of such characteristics, a task that I had previously thought impossible. As a result, I want to be Tina Fey and, here, I offer you a few more reasons why.

For the price of a dime, I can always turn to you

I have no links to offer you because I spent significantly little time online this weekend. You'll just have to waste your time here with me if you're that committed. I do make fun of French people, though...

Nothing to wallow in, but the sound that you're gobbling up

This is by far the most worthless way that I have wasted time since, well, probably ever (unless you count those two years I spent in a "Masters of Theological Studies" program)...

As punishment, you killed my betta fish, You just threw it out the window

This entry is mostly about music, but there is also a suggestion for family fun time, a "lyrics by synonym" challenge and a comparison of sports cultures. Waste away!

Caught between the cold and the wave, My heart beats up again

I've been told that the blog posts are too long, which is weird because no one has ever even intimated that I talk too much... So, I'm changing again. Alas, my dear readers, fear not, this will continue to be a complete waste of your time...

Drifting, Settling, Off to a foreign place

Good for me..bad for the blog...

If you always get up late, You'll never be on time

I rounded up some of my activities from the weekend to post together here. Highlights include new music and recipes, learning about how sad my life truly is through close attention to the signals of my unconscious mind, helping you to feel better about that awkward sweating problem you've been sweating, James Franco and SPANX - they're not just for old women anymore... Surely you can think of something better to do with your time...

Drunk girls know that love is an astronaut, It comes back but it's never the same

Not particularly interesting, but topics include making fun of my mother, making fun of myself for being like my mother, making fun of myself for my poor reading skills in English, making fun of myself for my poor speaking skills in Hindi, making fun of myself for poor language skills in other languages, making fun of drugs and Greg making fun of himself....

Yeah, It's a waste of time, But the sun still shines, And it shines for you

If you came here looking for a laugh, this is not the post for you. I actually had to do some work today and I'm tired and, well, it was a boring day. I mostly wrote/posted this to give myself something to do to waste time. Also, as I explained to someone today, this is a blog intended to help you manage the time you're already mismanaging and I would feel derelict in my duty for not posting anything. Yet, while there are  a few interesting links inside, before you make the jump, be sure that you can answer the title question of this blog in the affirmative...

Pick an addiction that's easy to treat, So we can laugh about it later

So, as you might have seen, I figured out how to add that "read more" button (although I've altered it to suit my own self-deprecating needs). I'm thinking that I might actually try to redesign the blog a bit to ensure that you, my dear reader, can be confident that you want to continue to waste your time wasting your time on a particular subject. P.S...I remain mildly embarrassed at how much I enjoy researching code to fix my problems.

For example: 

1. Among today's wasted activities, I learned how to guarantee that I get photographed during fashion week...because, you know, I'm always at fashion week trying to get photographed (what are YOU doing during fashion week?). That is actually a pretty funny column (I do admit a weakness for sarcastic bloggers), but  it lacks examples. To correct for this, I'd like to offer my own suggestions. Pictures after the jump: (see how I did that?!?)

Loud and messy, Like finger paint on the wall

I have to apologize that I don’t have much internet exploring to offer you. I spent most of the weekend at my friends’ house for Holi and their internet was out, so I spent no time online (which was actually quite refreshing and somewhat productive!). Instead, I have a few suggestions for how to waste your time when you do not have internet access. Also, I'm too exhausted to be funny, so sorry that you wasted your time coming here to waste time...

I'm not stupid I swear, I read the foreign news to learn about my nation

I decided to try a new format for my blog. If people are willing to waste time reading this (and I apparently am), then perhaps they will also be willing to waste their time reading my version of it. As I tried to stick as closely to the model offered by Amanda, who is an experienced blogger, I will present it here with her work first and mine below:

AMANDA, 27, is an associate market editor and a blogger at Marie Claire magazine, one of the publications of the Hearst Corporation, which was founded by Amanda’s great-grandfather,William Randolph Hearst. She lives in the West Village and is active on the boards of several charities. CHLOE MALLE

JENN, 29, is a struggling graduate student and a blogger for blogpost.com, a blogging tool owned by the Google Corporation, which was founded by Larry Page and Sergey Brin, who are of no relation to Jenn and have never once offered her money or even sent her a birthday card. She currently lives in Jaipur, Rajasthan and is not active in, well, basically anything at any time.

And all these things will pass, It's the good ones that will last

Today's Wasted Activities:

1. Realized I read too much celebrity gossip...

...because I saw the headline "Gotcha! Elephant Caught Cheating" and thought it was going to be something akin to Courtney Cox and David Arquette. Really?!? That's my go-to assumption when I see the word "cheating?" That this elephant is promiscuous and someone saw him cheating on his elephant "wife" and that the NPR audience reaaaaaaaaally cares enough to know about it? Really? Imagine my disappointment that it was actually a scientific study about an elephant (female, btw) being smart enough to "cheat" her way into some food. Time to block Jezzie

Please note: That researcher is an Emory grad student. Please support his research (and mine!) by buying a Coke.

I can not wait for summer, I can not wait for June, When all the ghosts are quiet, When everything is new

Wasted Activities:
1. Did the Tuesday Crossword from the L.A. Times (It's in the Jaipur newspaper)
If you know anything about crossword puzzles, then you already know why this was a total waste. You see, in my family, (ok...maybe just me) we judge your intelligence based on the final day of the week in which you are able to complete the NYTimes crossword by yourself. We (or just I) then label you accordingly. If this still doesn't make sense to you, then you're probably a Tuesday...

Does anyone know if we're looking out on the day of another dream?

Today's Wasted Activities:

1. Questioning the origin of pink for girls and blue for boys

Last night, we somehow ended up discussing why pink is chosen for girls and blue for boys (perhaps because I have a new niece scheduled to arrive in 4 months!). Turns out it's the same in Poland, but when I asked my Auntiji about such customs in India, she just laughed as though it was the silliest thing she had ever heard (although not nearly as silly as the idea that in America we have one water heater for an entire house/apt. complex and that it's located in the basement. "The BASEMENT?!?" she giggled in disbelief). It got me thinking and gave me some research to waste time on.

This Ship is Going Under, Going Under, Going Under...

Today's Wasted Activities:

1. Shaving
I happen to find shaving an utter waste of time in any circumstance because the extent to which women are expected to remove natural agents of protection in order to please someone else seems borderline tortuous. Yet, this is an especially wasted activity in India because outside of the occasional glimpse of an ankle, no one even sees or feels my bare legs. Not to mention the fact that here I have to conduct this activity stooped over a bucket (yes, that's right...I have a "bucket shower." It's ok...take a minute to think about it...it's exactly how it sounds.) But, alas, it wasted at least five more minutes of my day.
Interesting commentary/history on American women shaving here: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/625/who-decided-women-should-shave-their-legs-and-underarms
The women of Vassar weigh in: http://vsa.vassar.edu/~qcvc/?p=45

Really?!? That bored?

Those of you who have spent time abroad outside of Western Europe probably have some sense of the crushing weight that endless hours of spare time places upon your shoulders. This is particularly true for those of us women who find ourselves in cultures where there are few opportunities to wander outside without constant harassment and who, therefore, choose to remain in the confines of private space if only to avoid inflicting potentially homicidal consequences.

While I often wish I had more free time in the U.S., now I know how counter-productive it can be. Things that would have little importance back home become magnified, if only to have something interesting to think about. Usually unwilling to brave the Indian streets, I find myself constantly engaged in pseudo-existential, self-analytical, overly dramatized and, frankly, worthless musings (and unnecessarily descriptive sentences, apparently).
So, in an attempt to combat such wasted thoughts, I’ve decided to begin wasting my time by writing about the worthless, wasted things that I think, do, see, watch, hear, etc. in any given day.
[Really?!? You’re still reading this? Here’s a list of activities with which to better occupy yourself: http://www.squidoo.com/humorous-hobbies]