Those of you who have spent time abroad outside of Western Europe probably have some sense of the crushing weight that endless hours of spare time places upon your shoulders. This is particularly true for those of us women who find ourselves in cultures where there are few opportunities to wander outside without constant harassment and who, therefore, choose to remain in the confines of private space if only to avoid inflicting potentially homicidal consequences.
While I often wish I had more free time in the U.S., now I know how counter-productive it can be. Things that would have little importance back home become magnified, if only to have something interesting to think about. Usually unwilling to brave the Indian streets, I find myself constantly engaged in pseudo-existential, self-analytical, overly dramatized and, frankly, worthless musings (and unnecessarily descriptive sentences, apparently).
So, in an attempt to combat such wasted thoughts, I’ve decided to begin wasting my time by writing about the worthless, wasted things that I think, do, see, watch, hear, etc. in any given day.
[Really?!? You’re still reading this? Here’s a list of activities with which to better occupy yourself: http://www.squidoo.com/humorous-hobbies]
I intend for this blog to be one of those sites that you bookmark for those desperate times when you really, really, REALLY don’t want to do work, but have run out of semi-legitimate ways to waste time, such as reading the International section of the NYTimes (i.e. skimming the pictures in the Travel section), reviewing the demise of contemporary ethical and moral standards (watching clips of Modern Family and 30 Rock on hulu or gawker), contemplating the growing gap between the rich and poor in Western culture (looking at slideshows of Fall 2011 RTW collections on www.style.com), catching up with old friends (Facebook stalking) or just relaxing (watching porn). You can not only waste your time here with my own bemused ruminations, but I will offer helpful and shamefully useless ways to further waste your time both on the internet and in discussion with loved ones.
P.S. This blog was largely inspired by a suggestion from my friend Jordan. You can send hatemail to the following address: keepyourdamnableideastoyourselfjackass@hotmail.com
Wasted Activities:
To begin, here are just a few ways that I wasted my day today (and that you might try to waste yours!):
1. Hand-washed my laundry
A necessary, and somewhat therapeutic, activity, but one which wastes much too much time, forearm strength and water (and creates even more time for worthless musings).
2. Discussed my un-publishable response to the following with my friend Jordan: http://www.npr.org/2011/03/12/134458738/matzo-balls-meet-bacon-at-top-chefs-restaurant
3. Listened to the most recent episode of Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me!: The NPR News Quiz with celebrity guest Paul Reuben, i.e. Pee Wee Herman. Subscribe to the podcast here: http://www.npr.org/rss/podcast/podcast_detail.php?siteId=5183214
4. Then looked up my most vivid and creepy memory of Pee Wee’s Playhouse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs81piYG2G8 . I also thought about how Large Marge sent me.
5. Ate some chicken, which I bring up only b/c I believe that one manifestation of my boredom and rebellion in India has been to forfeit 9 years of fairly faithful vegetarianism. Who comes to India and STARTS eating meat?!?
6. Goaded a friend into a worthless argument about the “intellectual flaws of making generalizations.” (Seriously, though, is it possible that no Army women are attractive?)
— As an aside, pointing out such trivial and obvious flaws in arguments is a great way to start a wasted conversation that can drag on for hours. If you’re stumped for how to do so, simply suggest that what someone has said is “reductionist” or make up a counter-argument by starting with “Well, Foucault would argue…” Don’t worry if you don’t know anything about Foucault…no one does and no one can prove that Foucault DIDN’T argue what you’re suggesting he did. If you feel like you’re losing the upper-hand, simply obstinately repeat: “prove it. PROVE IT!”
7. Watched Zach Galifianski’s opening monologue for SNL. Actually quite funny. http://tv.gawker.com/#!5781429/watch-zach-galifianakis-hilariously-random-snl-monologue
8. Finished Daphne du Maurier’s “Rebecca.” Really good if you’re into early 20th century, female, British writers (which, it turns out, I’m kind of not…), but there is an interesting picture here: http://jezebel.com/#!5778859/rebecca-haunts-english-manor-house
9. Prepared vocabulary for what promises to be a rousing debate in Hindi tomorrow about “cats vs. dogs.” I actually have some pretty strong opinions about this, but I’ll save them for another day…
10. Started this blog.
Not so wasted activities:
1. Downloaded (illegally, I will admit) the new The Dodos album, “In Color.” I love it. Listen to it for a limited time here: http://www.npr.org/2011/03/07/134273685/first-listen-the-dodos-no-color
Buy it (or steal it if you must because of your grad student “income.”) I swear I will pay to see them in concert and I actually heard the following piece on NPR so I don’t feel so guilty about mentioning it here: http://www.npr.org/blogs/therecord/2011/03/07/134337572/the-real-value-of-7-million-facebook-fans
2. Listened to the local mosque’s call to prayer while drinking whiskey and soda on the balcony and watching the sun go down. (Sorry I can’t send a link to that)
3. Re-started my favorite book, Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s “One Hundred Years of Solitude” for the fourth time. Do yourself a favor and read it.
4. Actually had a conversation in Hindi at the grocery store about how I “speak” Hindi.
Things I should have been doing: (this list is not likely to change anytime soon and will probably not appear again):
Greg: So I downloaded this Cher song 2 days ago. Guess how many times I’ve listened to it?
Tareq: ummmmm….25
Greg: One hundred and seventy-eight times!
Final Note: I don’t anticipate all of my posts being this long (I’m surprised you’re even still here…), but who knows the depths and lengths to which Indian boredom will push me. Come back some desperate Wednesday afternoon to find out!
Also, please leave your own suggestions/comments about interesting and/or ridiculous ways that you have wasted your own time today. We’re all in this together, people…
So, in an attempt to combat such wasted thoughts, I’ve decided to begin wasting my time by writing about the worthless, wasted things that I think, do, see, watch, hear, etc. in any given day.
[Really?!? You’re still reading this? Here’s a list of activities with which to better occupy yourself: http://www.squidoo.com/humorous-hobbies]
I intend for this blog to be one of those sites that you bookmark for those desperate times when you really, really, REALLY don’t want to do work, but have run out of semi-legitimate ways to waste time, such as reading the International section of the NYTimes (i.e. skimming the pictures in the Travel section), reviewing the demise of contemporary ethical and moral standards (watching clips of Modern Family and 30 Rock on hulu or gawker), contemplating the growing gap between the rich and poor in Western culture (looking at slideshows of Fall 2011 RTW collections on www.style.com), catching up with old friends (Facebook stalking) or just relaxing (watching porn). You can not only waste your time here with my own bemused ruminations, but I will offer helpful and shamefully useless ways to further waste your time both on the internet and in discussion with loved ones.
P.S. This blog was largely inspired by a suggestion from my friend Jordan. You can send hatemail to the following address: keepyourdamnableideastoyourselfjackass@hotmail.com
Wasted Activities:
To begin, here are just a few ways that I wasted my day today (and that you might try to waste yours!):
1. Hand-washed my laundry
A necessary, and somewhat therapeutic, activity, but one which wastes much too much time, forearm strength and water (and creates even more time for worthless musings).
2. Discussed my un-publishable response to the following with my friend Jordan: http://www.npr.org/2011/03/12/134458738/matzo-balls-meet-bacon-at-top-chefs-restaurant
3. Listened to the most recent episode of Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me!: The NPR News Quiz with celebrity guest Paul Reuben, i.e. Pee Wee Herman. Subscribe to the podcast here: http://www.npr.org/rss/podcast/podcast_detail.php?siteId=5183214
4. Then looked up my most vivid and creepy memory of Pee Wee’s Playhouse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs81piYG2G8 . I also thought about how Large Marge sent me.
5. Ate some chicken, which I bring up only b/c I believe that one manifestation of my boredom and rebellion in India has been to forfeit 9 years of fairly faithful vegetarianism. Who comes to India and STARTS eating meat?!?
6. Goaded a friend into a worthless argument about the “intellectual flaws of making generalizations.” (Seriously, though, is it possible that no Army women are attractive?)
— As an aside, pointing out such trivial and obvious flaws in arguments is a great way to start a wasted conversation that can drag on for hours. If you’re stumped for how to do so, simply suggest that what someone has said is “reductionist” or make up a counter-argument by starting with “Well, Foucault would argue…” Don’t worry if you don’t know anything about Foucault…no one does and no one can prove that Foucault DIDN’T argue what you’re suggesting he did. If you feel like you’re losing the upper-hand, simply obstinately repeat: “prove it. PROVE IT!”
7. Watched Zach Galifianski’s opening monologue for SNL. Actually quite funny. http://tv.gawker.com/#!5781429/watch-zach-galifianakis-hilariously-random-snl-monologue
8. Finished Daphne du Maurier’s “Rebecca.” Really good if you’re into early 20th century, female, British writers (which, it turns out, I’m kind of not…), but there is an interesting picture here: http://jezebel.com/#!5778859/rebecca-haunts-english-manor-house
9. Prepared vocabulary for what promises to be a rousing debate in Hindi tomorrow about “cats vs. dogs.” I actually have some pretty strong opinions about this, but I’ll save them for another day…
10. Started this blog.
Not so wasted activities:
1. Downloaded (illegally, I will admit) the new The Dodos album, “In Color.” I love it. Listen to it for a limited time here: http://www.npr.org/2011/03/07/134273685/first-listen-the-dodos-no-color
Buy it (or steal it if you must because of your grad student “income.”) I swear I will pay to see them in concert and I actually heard the following piece on NPR so I don’t feel so guilty about mentioning it here: http://www.npr.org/blogs/therecord/2011/03/07/134337572/the-real-value-of-7-million-facebook-fans
2. Listened to the local mosque’s call to prayer while drinking whiskey and soda on the balcony and watching the sun go down. (Sorry I can’t send a link to that)
3. Re-started my favorite book, Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s “One Hundred Years of Solitude” for the fourth time. Do yourself a favor and read it.
4. Actually had a conversation in Hindi at the grocery store about how I “speak” Hindi.
Things I should have been doing: (this list is not likely to change anytime soon and will probably not appear again):
- Writing in my Hindi journal.
- Writing Fellowship applications.
- Researching book lists for my impending exams.
Greg: So I downloaded this Cher song 2 days ago. Guess how many times I’ve listened to it?
Tareq: ummmmm….25
Greg: One hundred and seventy-eight times!
Final Note: I don’t anticipate all of my posts being this long (I’m surprised you’re even still here…), but who knows the depths and lengths to which Indian boredom will push me. Come back some desperate Wednesday afternoon to find out!
Also, please leave your own suggestions/comments about interesting and/or ridiculous ways that you have wasted your own time today. We’re all in this together, people…
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