I read this article yesterday about how graduate students need to give themselves a break every once in a while and I've really taken the message to heart. I believe, however, that the article lacks specificity. So, to help clarify, let me offer more concrete examples of how to relax based on my own experiences over the past few days while in Florida with my mother, visiting my brother, sister-in-law, and two nieces, aged 3 years and 3 months.
Things to do and not do while relaxing as a grad student:
1. Do get 24 hours of sleep in a 48 hour period.
This is most easily achieved if you follow the sleeping pattern of a 3 year old, which means taking 2 hour naps every day and going to bed at 8:30.
2. Do not bathe.
Not only does this take away from precious sleeping time, but if you're like me, then showering is an important way of starting your day. Thus, if you do not shower, then you will not feel that your day has officially begun, which means that you won't feel any pressure to do anything other than watch cartoons.
3. Do cook
I especially recommend cooking foods that you don't usually keep in your house. Like bacon. Or blueberry pancakes. In lieu of that, get your mom to pay a ridiculous amount of money for gourmet pizza.
4. Do not check your school email
You can't stress about your overdue library fines if you don't know about them!
5. Do catch up on some of your favorite websites
For me, this included reading a review of a restaurant called Tertulia in the NYTimes Food and Dining section. This was an especially sweet read because I work in a similar tapas restaurant in Atlanta and reading that article not only made me feel great about the fact that I get to eat delicious Spanish food for free, but also that I haven't been near it for 2 days!
7. Do not exercise (at least in the ways that you usually do).
Instead, take up alternative exercise activities, like swinging (Ok, I mean that literally...like on a swingset, but I suppose the sexual alternative could be useful too (although you'll need to take that up with your partner)). Seriously, when was the last time that you swung* on a swingset? Honestly, it's amazing. I had forgotten how free you actually feel when you're on a swing, however fleeting it may be.
For the record, the enjoyment of this activity is greatly increased if you can find a 3 year old to laugh uproariously at how high you can swing. If you do not have ready, legitimate, and legal access to a 3 year old, be very careful about how you try to make that happen. Actually, now that I think about it, you should drop the idea of the 3 year old. Just let it go. I'm not bailing you out of jail. Forget I ever brought it up.
8. Do start drinking early
If you don't, your brother is totally going to drink all of that expensive beer you paid for. Seriously, what are you waiting for? You know he's already thinking about it. GO!!! That beer is YOURS!
9. Do get your hands on some power tools
There is nothing more relaxing or inspiring than actually creating something with your hands...and drilling some wood while you're at it (yeah, I said it). (Note: be careful about mixing numbers 8 and 9)
(In light of JPJ's comment below, I realized I should clarify that I helped to build said swingset in the backyard this weekend...got really comfortable with a power drilling (yup, said it again))
10. Do not write a new blogpost about your attempts to relax
Doing so will only force you to come to terms not only how with how lame your own life is and how desperately you want to be a 3 year old again, but also with how little you have accomplished in two days, thereby throwing you into uber-panic mode when you actually return to your regularly scheduled life...
*Do not let, however, yourself fall into a lengthy debate about proper verb conjugations ("swang" is not correct...although, for the record, "snuck" has become an acceptable irregular conjugation of "sneak" in the simple past and past participial forms in American vernacular English, even though the correct conjugation is "sneaked")
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Things to do and not do while relaxing as a grad student:
1. Do get 24 hours of sleep in a 48 hour period.
This is most easily achieved if you follow the sleeping pattern of a 3 year old, which means taking 2 hour naps every day and going to bed at 8:30.
2. Do not bathe.
Not only does this take away from precious sleeping time, but if you're like me, then showering is an important way of starting your day. Thus, if you do not shower, then you will not feel that your day has officially begun, which means that you won't feel any pressure to do anything other than watch cartoons.
3. Do cook
I especially recommend cooking foods that you don't usually keep in your house. Like bacon. Or blueberry pancakes. In lieu of that, get your mom to pay a ridiculous amount of money for gourmet pizza.
4. Do not check your school email
You can't stress about your overdue library fines if you don't know about them!
5. Do catch up on some of your favorite websites
For me, this included reading a review of a restaurant called Tertulia in the NYTimes Food and Dining section. This was an especially sweet read because I work in a similar tapas restaurant in Atlanta and reading that article not only made me feel great about the fact that I get to eat delicious Spanish food for free, but also that I haven't been near it for 2 days!
7. Do not exercise (at least in the ways that you usually do).
Instead, take up alternative exercise activities, like swinging (Ok, I mean that literally...like on a swingset, but I suppose the sexual alternative could be useful too (although you'll need to take that up with your partner)). Seriously, when was the last time that you swung* on a swingset? Honestly, it's amazing. I had forgotten how free you actually feel when you're on a swing, however fleeting it may be.
For the record, the enjoyment of this activity is greatly increased if you can find a 3 year old to laugh uproariously at how high you can swing. If you do not have ready, legitimate, and legal access to a 3 year old, be very careful about how you try to make that happen. Actually, now that I think about it, you should drop the idea of the 3 year old. Just let it go. I'm not bailing you out of jail. Forget I ever brought it up.
8. Do start drinking early
If you don't, your brother is totally going to drink all of that expensive beer you paid for. Seriously, what are you waiting for? You know he's already thinking about it. GO!!! That beer is YOURS!
9. Do get your hands on some power tools
There is nothing more relaxing or inspiring than actually creating something with your hands...and drilling some wood while you're at it (yeah, I said it). (Note: be careful about mixing numbers 8 and 9)
(In light of JPJ's comment below, I realized I should clarify that I helped to build said swingset in the backyard this weekend...got really comfortable with a power drilling (yup, said it again))
10. Do not write a new blogpost about your attempts to relax
Doing so will only force you to come to terms not only how with how lame your own life is and how desperately you want to be a 3 year old again, but also with how little you have accomplished in two days, thereby throwing you into uber-panic mode when you actually return to your regularly scheduled life...
*Do not let, however, yourself fall into a lengthy debate about proper verb conjugations ("swang" is not correct...although, for the record, "snuck" has become an acceptable irregular conjugation of "sneak" in the simple past and past participial forms in American vernacular English, even though the correct conjugation is "sneaked")
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3 comments:
If #9 is not some sort of euphemism, then I'm confused.
Hell, even if it is some sort of euphemism, I'm confused.
What happened to #6?
Let me guess, you had written "6. Do start each day off by eating five bowls of Count Chocula cereal while you stare blankly at a fixed point six feet in front of you," but then you later redacted your list out of fear that you may come across as being dangerously unhinged.
Wow...you really are that bored, aren't you?
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