Welcome back to another installment of "what the hell is with this poster on the back of a bathroom stall?" This one was found on the first floor of the library. New stall, new poster, same scathing critique...
(Sorry this isn't a great picture, but the poster was removed before I could reshoot it, and one doesn't want to spend too much time taking pictures in a public bathroom stall)
I feel that I should begin this post by clarifying that I have spent the majority of my adult life as a student. That is to be read, "I'm broke...as I was, am now, and ever shall be" (I'm referring to my economic situation here, although I could easily go on about how academia has broken my spirit). In the nine years since I graduated from college, I have spent 5.5 in higher education (and another .5 as an adjunct, which paid even less than graduate school).
The first rule of graduate school is that you eat free food wherever and whenever you can. I don't care if it requires you to break your commitments to a morally sound diet and/or to pretend that you have commitments to a morally sound diet (I'm looking at you, kosher snacks served at the Jewish Histories and Cultures lecture series). Where there is free food, there also art thou (the second rule of graduate school, by the way, is to feel free to talk like a 17th century bard because people expect you to be an unintelligible, pedantic asshole).
So, when I saw this sign, I was immediately drawn in by the advertisement of a:
!FREE KOREAN DINNER :)
I (happily) turned into Liz Lemon, inadvertently mumbling, "I want to go to there..." But before I had time to catch the spittle flying from my lips, my eyes moved up the .78 millimeters to line informing me that not only are tickets required for this Korean meal, but the tickets are:
"$5 pre-sell: $7 at the door"
Ok. I have a number of problems here.
1. In common, informal, American English parlance (and I suspect also in uncommon, formal parlance), "free" suggests that there will be no money involved. "What the hell does 'free' mean in Korean?" I thought to myself. That, of course, led to a dangerous tailspin of possibilities. Maybe it's an ironic twist on the issue of freedom in North Korea that is the central theme of this fundraiser. You know, like, this is "free" the way North Koreans are "free" to criticize their government and the North Korean government is "free" to make said "free" people disappear without explanation. Or maybe it means "free" the way that casual sex is "free." I mean, a man doesn't have to pay the woman, per se...but he'd better be ready to part with a few $20s to the bartender along the way (at least that's what I've heard...I've never been that broke, although, now that I think about it...Hmmmmm. Anyway, moving on...). Most likely, however, it means these kids are smart enough to know that appealing to the protection of international human rights isn't going to bring anyone anywhere. You damn well better have some "free" food.
(For the record, I did look up a definition of "free" (at freedictionary of all places) and, used adverbially, "free" can mean "without charge." As an adjective (which would modify either Korean and/or food in this case), it could indicate that Korean food is not subjected to governmental regulation (eff the F.D.A.), it will be lavish (i.e. a buffet), it will not be obstructed (although having an obstacle course a la "Double Dare" in front of the buffet line would be awesome), and/or that the Korean food being offered is not exact (i.e. it's not exactly food, but this is what we call food in Korea or it's not exactly Korean food, but it's the closest we could get without actually saying "eff you" to the F.D.A.). Ultimately, again, it could be just be an ironic point that "free" doesn't exactly mean "free.")
2. Why is there a colon between the pre-sell and at the door ticket costs? I mean, that's not the grammatical function of a colon at all. That is rather "free" usage of punctuation, wouldn't you say (see definition #11)?
3. Speaking of punctuation, what is with the prior exclamation point? I know about the fun punctuation in ¡el español!, but do they also do that in Korean? And the smiley face? Is that acceptable concluding punctuation? Does the Korean script even have punctuation ?!? (Although, if it does, and emoticons are acceptable, then I take back all the negative comments I have ever made about Korea ;))
Just a few last things:
4. So, this is the "1st" Benefit Concert, huh? Awesome! But then, from where did these pictures come (see rule #2 of grad school (and please note the unintended rhymes))? Are there really that many events during which Korean girls perform with acoustic guitars, express their angst with wild gesticulations, and/or dance around in matching neon tank tops and tight-ass jeans? (Ok, I actually looked up the guy to whom the pics are attributed. He's a Ph.D. student of Aerospace Engineering at the Georgia Institute of Technology. This is a shame because I would be intrigued to find out more about him based on these credentials if it weren't for the fact that I now know he owns random pictures of Korean girls dancing. Damn...I hate to waste a good stalking opportunity...)
5. Finally, and perhaps most interestingly, why "Trick'a'nometry?" Why not a more accurate rendering as "Trick'o'nometry." I mean, you'd think they, of all people, would know that. You know, because they're in college (not because they're good at math, you racist). Although, perhaps spelling and driving have more in common than we thought...
Now, if only could find a poster like this on campus:
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(Sorry this isn't a great picture, but the poster was removed before I could reshoot it, and one doesn't want to spend too much time taking pictures in a public bathroom stall)
I feel that I should begin this post by clarifying that I have spent the majority of my adult life as a student. That is to be read, "I'm broke...as I was, am now, and ever shall be" (I'm referring to my economic situation here, although I could easily go on about how academia has broken my spirit). In the nine years since I graduated from college, I have spent 5.5 in higher education (and another .5 as an adjunct, which paid even less than graduate school).
The first rule of graduate school is that you eat free food wherever and whenever you can. I don't care if it requires you to break your commitments to a morally sound diet and/or to pretend that you have commitments to a morally sound diet (I'm looking at you, kosher snacks served at the Jewish Histories and Cultures lecture series). Where there is free food, there also art thou (the second rule of graduate school, by the way, is to feel free to talk like a 17th century bard because people expect you to be an unintelligible, pedantic asshole).
So, when I saw this sign, I was immediately drawn in by the advertisement of a:
!FREE KOREAN DINNER :)
I (happily) turned into Liz Lemon, inadvertently mumbling, "I want to go to there..." But before I had time to catch the spittle flying from my lips, my eyes moved up the .78 millimeters to line informing me that not only are tickets required for this Korean meal, but the tickets are:
"$5 pre-sell: $7 at the door"
Ok. I have a number of problems here.
1. In common, informal, American English parlance (and I suspect also in uncommon, formal parlance), "free" suggests that there will be no money involved. "What the hell does 'free' mean in Korean?" I thought to myself. That, of course, led to a dangerous tailspin of possibilities. Maybe it's an ironic twist on the issue of freedom in North Korea that is the central theme of this fundraiser. You know, like, this is "free" the way North Koreans are "free" to criticize their government and the North Korean government is "free" to make said "free" people disappear without explanation. Or maybe it means "free" the way that casual sex is "free." I mean, a man doesn't have to pay the woman, per se...but he'd better be ready to part with a few $20s to the bartender along the way (at least that's what I've heard...I've never been that broke, although, now that I think about it...Hmmmmm. Anyway, moving on...). Most likely, however, it means these kids are smart enough to know that appealing to the protection of international human rights isn't going to bring anyone anywhere. You damn well better have some "free" food.
(For the record, I did look up a definition of "free" (at freedictionary of all places) and, used adverbially, "free" can mean "without charge." As an adjective (which would modify either Korean and/or food in this case), it could indicate that Korean food is not subjected to governmental regulation (eff the F.D.A.), it will be lavish (i.e. a buffet), it will not be obstructed (although having an obstacle course a la "Double Dare" in front of the buffet line would be awesome), and/or that the Korean food being offered is not exact (i.e. it's not exactly food, but this is what we call food in Korea or it's not exactly Korean food, but it's the closest we could get without actually saying "eff you" to the F.D.A.). Ultimately, again, it could be just be an ironic point that "free" doesn't exactly mean "free.")
2. Why is there a colon between the pre-sell and at the door ticket costs? I mean, that's not the grammatical function of a colon at all. That is rather "free" usage of punctuation, wouldn't you say (see definition #11)?
3. Speaking of punctuation, what is with the prior exclamation point? I know about the fun punctuation in ¡el español!, but do they also do that in Korean? And the smiley face? Is that acceptable concluding punctuation? Does the Korean script even have punctuation ?!? (Although, if it does, and emoticons are acceptable, then I take back all the negative comments I have ever made about Korea ;))
Just a few last things:
4. So, this is the "1st" Benefit Concert, huh? Awesome! But then, from where did these pictures come (see rule #2 of grad school (and please note the unintended rhymes))? Are there really that many events during which Korean girls perform with acoustic guitars, express their angst with wild gesticulations, and/or dance around in matching neon tank tops and tight-ass jeans? (Ok, I actually looked up the guy to whom the pics are attributed. He's a Ph.D. student of Aerospace Engineering at the Georgia Institute of Technology. This is a shame because I would be intrigued to find out more about him based on these credentials if it weren't for the fact that I now know he owns random pictures of Korean girls dancing. Damn...I hate to waste a good stalking opportunity...)
5. Finally, and perhaps most interestingly, why "Trick'a'nometry?" Why not a more accurate rendering as "Trick'o'nometry." I mean, you'd think they, of all people, would know that. You know, because they're in college (not because they're good at math, you racist). Although, perhaps spelling and driving have more in common than we thought...
Now, if only could find a poster like this on campus:
Subscribe in a reader
1 comment:
You've typed up this entire disturbingly unhinged screed criticizing the various grammatical foibles and word-choice oddities of this poor, innocent pack of do-gooders, and yet you somehow completely ignore the fact that the poster also purports that the event's aim is to "raise awareness in the Humanity Crisis?" How did that happen? Leaving aside the highly idiosyncratic (or perhaps just outright incorrect) usage of the preposition "in," the phrase "Humanity Crisis" is employed rather oddly here. What is a "Humanity Crisis," anyway? I would feel quite comfortable, for instance, referring to my own life as some form of intractable, ongoing "Humanity Crisis," but I'm not so sure that this is the correct phrase to use in describing what is going on in North Korea.
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