Today's Wasted Activities:
1. Shaving
I happen to find shaving an utter waste of time in any circumstance because the extent to which women are expected to remove natural agents of protection in order to please someone else seems borderline tortuous. Yet, this is an especially wasted activity in India because outside of the occasional glimpse of an ankle, no one even sees or feels my bare legs. Not to mention the fact that here I have to conduct this activity stooped over a bucket (yes, that's right...I have a "bucket shower." It's ok...take a minute to think about it...it's exactly how it sounds.) But, alas, it wasted at least five more minutes of my day.
Interesting commentary/history on American women shaving here: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/625/who-decided-women-should-shave-their-legs-and-underarms
The women of Vassar weigh in: http://vsa.vassar.edu/~qcvc/?p=45
2. Explaining my attitude towards cats vs. dogs (in Hindi):
I actually feel strongly about this debate. I personally think that cats are like women and dogs are like men insofar as cats size you up the minute they see you and decide within 30 seconds whether or not they like you. If they don't, they will never forget it and if they know that you also don't like them (or are allergic to them), they will purposely try to get into your lap merely for the sake of establishing that they are in control. Dogs, on the other hand, like you right away and just want to go outside to run around and have fun. You can anger them or hurt their feelings, but as soon as you offer them a tasty treat to munch on, all is forgotten. It is for this reason that I like prefer dogs, but respect cats much more. (Feel free to offer this argument to someone else and if they even remotely agree, return to the last post's suggestion about pointing out easy and obvious flaws in gender generalizations in order to keep the conversation going! Remember to demand that they "PROVE IT!!!").
Wish I'd seen this one: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1287468/
3. Drinking water/going to the bathroom:
Yes, I actually do this to waste time. Throughout my four consecutive hours of Hindi class each day, I make sure to keep a full bottle of water because, post-12th grade, going to the bathroom and/or filling water bottle is a legitimate excuse to leave a classroom. I sometimes find myself unwittingly gulping down 24 ounces of water, just so I can have those 2.5 minutes of spare time walking to and from the water fountain. Although I'm not familiar with the milieu of the business meeting, I suspect that you could do the same thing to get out of a meeting you really don't want to attend. For good measure, throw in some diuretics, such as coffee or tea, followed by a large glass of water in order to assure your need to leave. Hell, why not toss some whiskey into the mix because that way, you might be drunk enough that you don't care if you get fired and you can spend all day finding even more absurd ways to waste time!
A list of natural diuretics if you not into the whole "ingesting drugs to waste time" thing:
http://www.targetwoman.com/articles/natural-diuretic.html
(Please don't actually go that website...)
4. Reading the online synopsis of tomorrow's Hindi movie, "Water," so as to ensure that I needn't pay too much attention to the actual film and can, therefore, waste more time on this blog or other needless, trivial queries: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_%282005_film%29
5. Researching dilemma vs. dilemna.
It was not until college that I realized that the word "dilemma" is spelled with two "mm"s and not as "dilemna" with an "n." Embarrassed about such an oversight, I quietly resolved to change my spelling ways and never speak of the mistake again. Ok, that's not true. Those of you who know me know that I rarely am ashamed of anything (Jordan once told me that my lack of a sense of shame borders on sociopathic - See here for my failed 2008 attempt at cultivating shame (mine is the 6th one): http://www.thedailypage.com/isthmus/article.php?article=18612 ). I have admitted this mistake a number of times and have recently discovered that there are others out there like me: http://northernplanets.blogspot.com/2007/08/dilemna-of-spelling-dilemma.html
A similarly wasteful conversation can be had about pronunciation. For example, how do you say the word "disparate?" As "dis-p(ə-)rət" or "di-ˈsper-ət?" I always pronounced it as the former until I heard Hillary Clinton use the latter. Hegemony? As "hi-ˈje-mə-nē" or "he-jə-ˌmō-nē?"
6. Greg looked up octoroon. Who knew?!? Definition here: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/octoroon
7. Went to the gym. Ran to Girl Talk. Daydreamed about going home. Killed 1.5 hours. http://www.illegal-art.net/allday/
8. Contemplated the the mockumentary equivalent of a blog.
I intend for this blog to be a meta-commentary about how we waste time reading things about how other people waste their time without necessarily wanting to admit how much time we're wasting (HAHAHAHA. "Meta"-commentary... That's funny...). More than that, though, I'm looking to constantly make fun of my own lame life. I can't believe you're wasting your time on my blog reading about how I waste my time on other people's blogs. What do I have here? A mocklog? A ridilog (ridicule and blog?)? Suggestions please...
9. Writing out the cards for "Apples to Apples" by hand.
No, seriously. Three of us spent an hour and a half hand-writing the descriptions of nouns and adjectives from an online list and have barely made a dent (although it did devolve into abbreviations and eventually adding our own commentary, which proved to be quite enjoyable). All I can say is that when we finally get to play this game weeks from now, it had better be the most fun I've ever had with a homemade game. If you don't know this game, get thee to a Target and if you're really looking to waste time, make up your own nouns and adjective. Dirty Apples to Apples?!?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apples_to_Apples
Not So Wasted Activities:
1. Walking home from school
This is the most consistent method by which I waste time. Those thirty minutes between school and home are usually where I do the majority of my wasted thinking, but today, instead of our usual "headphones in, get lost in your own world" routine, Greg (who is the only person who can keep my pace) and I had a good conversation and few laughs to boot. To boot?!? Really?!? http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-tob1.htm
2. Editing
I helped my friend Tareq edit an essay for his AmeriCorp application. I doubt that I was actually of much help, but it was nice to feel like a teacher again. Here is a good way to NOT waste your time: http://www.americorps.gov/
Quotes of the Day:
Christian: Where is Greg?
Me: He went with Ellen to find a nun...
(chat with mom)me: i'm about to start a blog
1. Shaving
I happen to find shaving an utter waste of time in any circumstance because the extent to which women are expected to remove natural agents of protection in order to please someone else seems borderline tortuous. Yet, this is an especially wasted activity in India because outside of the occasional glimpse of an ankle, no one even sees or feels my bare legs. Not to mention the fact that here I have to conduct this activity stooped over a bucket (yes, that's right...I have a "bucket shower." It's ok...take a minute to think about it...it's exactly how it sounds.) But, alas, it wasted at least five more minutes of my day.
Interesting commentary/history on American women shaving here: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/625/who-decided-women-should-shave-their-legs-and-underarms
The women of Vassar weigh in: http://vsa.vassar.edu/~qcvc/?p=45
2. Explaining my attitude towards cats vs. dogs (in Hindi):
I actually feel strongly about this debate. I personally think that cats are like women and dogs are like men insofar as cats size you up the minute they see you and decide within 30 seconds whether or not they like you. If they don't, they will never forget it and if they know that you also don't like them (or are allergic to them), they will purposely try to get into your lap merely for the sake of establishing that they are in control. Dogs, on the other hand, like you right away and just want to go outside to run around and have fun. You can anger them or hurt their feelings, but as soon as you offer them a tasty treat to munch on, all is forgotten. It is for this reason that I like prefer dogs, but respect cats much more. (Feel free to offer this argument to someone else and if they even remotely agree, return to the last post's suggestion about pointing out easy and obvious flaws in gender generalizations in order to keep the conversation going! Remember to demand that they "PROVE IT!!!").
Wish I'd seen this one: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1287468/
3. Drinking water/going to the bathroom:
Yes, I actually do this to waste time. Throughout my four consecutive hours of Hindi class each day, I make sure to keep a full bottle of water because, post-12th grade, going to the bathroom and/or filling water bottle is a legitimate excuse to leave a classroom. I sometimes find myself unwittingly gulping down 24 ounces of water, just so I can have those 2.5 minutes of spare time walking to and from the water fountain. Although I'm not familiar with the milieu of the business meeting, I suspect that you could do the same thing to get out of a meeting you really don't want to attend. For good measure, throw in some diuretics, such as coffee or tea, followed by a large glass of water in order to assure your need to leave. Hell, why not toss some whiskey into the mix because that way, you might be drunk enough that you don't care if you get fired and you can spend all day finding even more absurd ways to waste time!
A list of natural diuretics if you not into the whole "ingesting drugs to waste time" thing:
http://www.targetwoman.com/articles/natural-diuretic.html
(Please don't actually go that website...)
4. Reading the online synopsis of tomorrow's Hindi movie, "Water," so as to ensure that I needn't pay too much attention to the actual film and can, therefore, waste more time on this blog or other needless, trivial queries: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_%282005_film%29
5. Researching dilemma vs. dilemna.
It was not until college that I realized that the word "dilemma" is spelled with two "mm"s and not as "dilemna" with an "n." Embarrassed about such an oversight, I quietly resolved to change my spelling ways and never speak of the mistake again. Ok, that's not true. Those of you who know me know that I rarely am ashamed of anything (Jordan once told me that my lack of a sense of shame borders on sociopathic - See here for my failed 2008 attempt at cultivating shame (mine is the 6th one): http://www.thedailypage.com/isthmus/article.php?article=18612 ). I have admitted this mistake a number of times and have recently discovered that there are others out there like me: http://northernplanets.blogspot.com/2007/08/dilemna-of-spelling-dilemma.html
A similarly wasteful conversation can be had about pronunciation. For example, how do you say the word "disparate?" As "dis-p(ə-)rət" or "di-ˈsper-ət?" I always pronounced it as the former until I heard Hillary Clinton use the latter. Hegemony? As "hi-ˈje-mə-nē" or "he-jə-ˌmō-nē?"
6. Greg looked up octoroon. Who knew?!? Definition here: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/octoroon
7. Went to the gym. Ran to Girl Talk. Daydreamed about going home. Killed 1.5 hours. http://www.illegal-art.net/allday/
8. Contemplated the the mockumentary equivalent of a blog.
I intend for this blog to be a meta-commentary about how we waste time reading things about how other people waste their time without necessarily wanting to admit how much time we're wasting (HAHAHAHA. "Meta"-commentary... That's funny...). More than that, though, I'm looking to constantly make fun of my own lame life. I can't believe you're wasting your time on my blog reading about how I waste my time on other people's blogs. What do I have here? A mocklog? A ridilog (ridicule and blog?)? Suggestions please...
9. Writing out the cards for "Apples to Apples" by hand.
No, seriously. Three of us spent an hour and a half hand-writing the descriptions of nouns and adjectives from an online list and have barely made a dent (although it did devolve into abbreviations and eventually adding our own commentary, which proved to be quite enjoyable). All I can say is that when we finally get to play this game weeks from now, it had better be the most fun I've ever had with a homemade game. If you don't know this game, get thee to a Target and if you're really looking to waste time, make up your own nouns and adjective. Dirty Apples to Apples?!?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apples_to_Apples
Not So Wasted Activities:
1. Walking home from school
This is the most consistent method by which I waste time. Those thirty minutes between school and home are usually where I do the majority of my wasted thinking, but today, instead of our usual "headphones in, get lost in your own world" routine, Greg (who is the only person who can keep my pace) and I had a good conversation and few laughs to boot. To boot?!? Really?!? http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-tob1.htm
2. Editing
I helped my friend Tareq edit an essay for his AmeriCorp application. I doubt that I was actually of much help, but it was nice to feel like a teacher again. Here is a good way to NOT waste your time: http://www.americorps.gov/
Quotes of the Day:
Christian: Where is Greg?
Me: He went with Ellen to find a nun...
(chat with mom)me: i'm about to start a blog
are you going to read it?
it's about how to waste time
bobbijeanne: where will it be
i'm not sure I know about blogs, other than to hear them mentioned - unless, ,of course, I have actually "blogged" and didn't know I was blogging!
(and later from dad on mom's account)
bobbijeanne: i've bookmarked your blog . . . primarily to check it for grammar and punctuation.
Final Note: I didn't do as much random exploring of the internet today as usual, as much of my time was consumed by "researching" this blog post, but I'm already beginning to feel the therapeutic effects. Hope you feel like you have successfully wasted your time here. (P.s...it took me 3 tries to spell therapeutic correctly).
(and later from dad on mom's account)
bobbijeanne: i've bookmarked your blog . . . primarily to check it for grammar and punctuation.
no need to thank me
Final Note: I didn't do as much random exploring of the internet today as usual, as much of my time was consumed by "researching" this blog post, but I'm already beginning to feel the therapeutic effects. Hope you feel like you have successfully wasted your time here. (P.s...it took me 3 tries to spell therapeutic correctly).
1 comment:
I actually did know about "octoroon". But seeing as I am in historian who specializes in the Antebellum US - and have studied the slave South for a while - I need to know such distinctions, because those people sure as hell did. They talk about more than just mulattos.
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