I have no links to offer you because I spent significantly little time online this weekend. You'll just have to waste your time here with me if you're that committed. I do make fun of French people, though...
I recently learned that when French children are learning English, they talk a lot about "Brian." For example, when learning names for the various rooms in a house, they create dialogues such as:
Q: "Where is Brian?"
A: "Brian is in the kitchen."
I find a number of things interesting about this. One, it has been suggested to me that Brian spends an exorbitant amount of time in the kitchen (what is he doing in there?). Two, it seems vaguely fascist because, apparently, it would be inapproprié to ask "Who the hell is this Brian, anyway?!?" Three, and perhaps most important, Brian has a sister named "Jenny." I thought this would be a useful way to frame this entry about how I wasted time this weekend if only because I'm sure that all of you avid readers out there (mom, Jordan) often ask yourself, "Where is Jenny?" I also hope this will helpful for non-native English speakers who accidentally stumble upon my blog when furtively googling "who the hell is this Brian, anyway?!?"
Where is Jenny?
(I'll stick to the present tense, because I'm not sure how long Brian and Jenny stick around. For all I know, they are replaced by Jason and Sarah by the time more complex past and participial constructions are introduced)
Description 1
Jenny is in the kitchen.
Jenny is making pasta.
Jenn is peer pressuring her friends to drink with her.
"Silly, sober Europeans!" says Jenny.
Jenny is on the roof.
Jenny's peer pressure works.
"Silly, fickle Europeans!" says Jenny.
Jenny is laughing
Jenny sleeps at the house of her friends.
Jenny does the "walk of shame."
(Please note for students that "peer pressure" is used as both a verb and a noun in this conversation.)
Description 2
Jenny is in the kitchen.
Jenny and her friend are making Thai food.
Jenny doesn't have to apply peer pressure tonight.
"Silly, drunken Europeans!" says Jenny.
Jenny and her friend rightly trounce their other friends in a game of charades (this sentence is optional and will only be appropriate for more advanced learners, particularly as the words "rightly trounce" are not actually colloquial to any known English-speaking context).
Jenny is on the roof again.
Jenny is mercilessly mocking her friends.
"Stupid, drunken Americans!" says Jenny.
Jenny continues to laugh.
Jenny sleeps at the house of her friends again.
Jenny does the "walk of shame" again. (Seriously, these Indian people think you're a whore, Jenny. This is just getting embarrassing).
Description 3
Jenny is in the kitchen.
Jenny is doing the dishes, because that is her duty and purpose as a woman (language learning is made most effective when used to convey fundamental cultural principles).
"Silly boys! They shouldn't have to help cook or clean!" says Jenny.
Jenny is on the back porch.
Jenny is talking with a friend.
"Silly me! I'm completely wasting my life and loving every minute of it!" says Jenny.
Jenny is still laughing (seriously, Jenny, no one else is laughing. You're not that funny. Stop. This is just getting embarrassing).
Jenny hopes Brian remembers to turn out the light when he leaves the kitchen...
Quotes:
"Dear Greg, We need milk." - Greg
Q: "Where is Brian?"
A: "Brian is in the kitchen."
I find a number of things interesting about this. One, it has been suggested to me that Brian spends an exorbitant amount of time in the kitchen (what is he doing in there?). Two, it seems vaguely fascist because, apparently, it would be inapproprié to ask "Who the hell is this Brian, anyway?!?" Three, and perhaps most important, Brian has a sister named "Jenny." I thought this would be a useful way to frame this entry about how I wasted time this weekend if only because I'm sure that all of you avid readers out there (mom, Jordan) often ask yourself, "Where is Jenny?" I also hope this will helpful for non-native English speakers who accidentally stumble upon my blog when furtively googling "who the hell is this Brian, anyway?!?"
Where is Jenny?
(I'll stick to the present tense, because I'm not sure how long Brian and Jenny stick around. For all I know, they are replaced by Jason and Sarah by the time more complex past and participial constructions are introduced)
Description 1
Jenny is in the kitchen.
Jenny is making pasta.
Jenn is peer pressuring her friends to drink with her.
"Silly, sober Europeans!" says Jenny.
Jenny is on the roof.
Jenny's peer pressure works.
"Silly, fickle Europeans!" says Jenny.
Jenny is laughing
Jenny sleeps at the house of her friends.
Jenny does the "walk of shame."
(Please note for students that "peer pressure" is used as both a verb and a noun in this conversation.)
Description 2
Jenny is in the kitchen.
Jenny and her friend are making Thai food.
Jenny doesn't have to apply peer pressure tonight.
"Silly, drunken Europeans!" says Jenny.
Jenny and her friend rightly trounce their other friends in a game of charades (this sentence is optional and will only be appropriate for more advanced learners, particularly as the words "rightly trounce" are not actually colloquial to any known English-speaking context).
Jenny is on the roof again.
Jenny is mercilessly mocking her friends.
"Stupid, drunken Americans!" says Jenny.
Jenny continues to laugh.
Jenny sleeps at the house of her friends again.
Jenny does the "walk of shame" again. (Seriously, these Indian people think you're a whore, Jenny. This is just getting embarrassing).
Description 3
Jenny is in the kitchen.
Jenny is doing the dishes, because that is her duty and purpose as a woman (language learning is made most effective when used to convey fundamental cultural principles).
"Silly boys! They shouldn't have to help cook or clean!" says Jenny.
Jenny is on the back porch.
Jenny is talking with a friend.
"Silly me! I'm completely wasting my life and loving every minute of it!" says Jenny.
Jenny is still laughing (seriously, Jenny, no one else is laughing. You're not that funny. Stop. This is just getting embarrassing).
Jenny is in her own bed.
Jenny feels the first pangs of nostalgia about leaving India.Jenny hopes Brian remembers to turn out the light when he leaves the kitchen...
Quotes:
"Dear Greg, We need milk." - Greg
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